Think about it - when was the last time you were good to yourself? Not just by taking care of yourself physically and fulfilling your body's needs, but mentally too. Are you listening to yourself? To what your mind is saying, to what it is asking, to what it really needs?
You may be thinking yes - I hear myself think all the time and it drives me up the wall, in fact I have to try to block it out - and you're not alone. This is probably me all over.
But as I'm thinking now, I've only just realised that whilst I'm listening to all these crazy thoughts rushing around my head at a 100mph, telling me what I need, what I don't have, what I haven't done yet, etc, it's creating more stress and doing me less good.
I'm not helping it in any way. I'm not helping myself. And this is because while so many things are happening in life all at once - new things, bad things, good things, unexpected things - we block out that voice inside us and forget what it is we really need.
I've been ignoring mine. Whilst so many things have been turning around for me, and my emotions are constantly up and down, I've forgot to fill my mind with positive thoughts and remind myself that I will get through whatever is troubling me. I haven't been good to myself, in fact, I've been the complete opposite.
I read a blog post just before about the importance of 'feeding your happiness'. At first I was confused by what this meant, but as I read on, it made more and more sense and I thought to myself "how have I not realised this before?". It is from this yoga blog and here is a quote explaining the concept:
"Nothing can survive without food, not even suffering. No animal or plant can survive without food. In order for our love to survive, we have to feed it. If we don’t feed it, or we feed it the wrong kind of nutrients, our love will die. In a short time, our love can turn into hate. Our suffering, our depression also needs food to survive. If our depression refuses to go away, it’s because we keep feeding it daily."
I could never see it back then but when I was going through quite a depressing time in my life, I was feeding my depression! The things I thought would make me better, and by thinking that I would magically feel better one day without making any real effort, were in fact stopping me and holding me back from making any progress and actually feeling happier. Because of my moods, I just responded to it, went along with it, and expected them to disappear in their own time. And because of that, I always wondered why it was I felt that way for such a long time.
Each person has their own different needs, and in that article, the writer used yoga as a way to help herself out of that rut - that was what she needed. But no matter who you are, you know what that means to you, and only you know what your real needs are. It may be a number of things you need to start doing, in order to actually build happiness into your life and keep on feeding it by doing what is necessary to make you happy, but that is the case for me also, and I know it may take a lot of effort and a lot of patience as well as time to get there, but I believe that it's possible. As long as I remember to keep feeding my happiness, enforce positive thoughts into my mind daily (even when so much drama is going on in my life) and remind myself that I will be okay and make it through, I know that I'll be looking after myself mentally and physically. I will of achieved the importance of being good to myself, and whatever has happened, I will heal naturally over time.
"Happiness is an innate quality already within, like the capacity to breathe or be compassionate. As I began to reconnect to my ability to breathe life into joy, effortlessly, the bond between my intuition and my heart began to heal and solidify. Again, I was humbly reminded that there is a reason we call it a practice and not graduation. It’s okay to fall, to break, and rise back stronger."
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